Called to Go



Scripture of the Day

Acts 13:1-3 Now in the church at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon who was called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen a member of the court of Herod the ruler, and Saul. While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off.

Jeremiah 1:4-10 Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Truly I do not know how to speak, for I am only a boy.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a boy’; for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you, Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.” Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth; and the Lord said to me, “Now I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck up and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.”


Sermon Text

First of all I just wanted to say, I thought we change all of the clergy stoles, to getting to put pins on them, because I think this is way cooler, just saying. As we're studying Paul, and as we're looking at Paul's journey, one of the biggest bits of who Paul is, is the missionary that he becomes. Because he leaves, and he goes. And he goes where nobody else wants to go, and he goes to places where he knows he may not be accepted, and he goes in spaces and in places that don't quite understand him. But he goes because he knows that God has called him to go. That God has said, "The places that you were before, the things that you have experienced before, the guy who went after all of the Christians, the man who believed so zealously that his call to take down and to get rid of the Christians was so important." But God took that and transformed it, and now his call is to go.

To leave the places that are comfortable for him, and to do the things that God has asked him, and commanded him to do. So as Saul, who becomes Paul, and Barnabas, set out on their next chapter. They set out on their next discovering of who they are, and what God's call on their lives was. I am reminded of the Jeremiah passage. "Before you were, before you were ever born, I formed you. And I breathed life into you. Before you were I was. Before you ever thought a thought, I already knew you. Before you went off on your way-word journeys, I knew who you were and I loved you."

Before each and to every one of us, ever took a breath, God had created and named and claimed us. Think about that for a moment. Before you ever existed, as anything more than cells, God knew you. God loved you, and God knew the steps and the paths that you would take, God knew the ways that you would run away, God knew the ways that you would desert and deny, and flee. God knew the poor choices that you would make, and God knew the good stuff you would do. And God believed so strongly, that even though you would have freewill, and get to do what you chose to do, still the end result of God loving you so fully and completely was everything.

The prophet continues his conversation with God in Jeremiah. He says, "But who am I to go? Who am I to be one set apart? Who am I in my weakness, in my lack of experience, in my not knowing, who am I to do the things that you have called me to do?" And how many times have you, and I felt calls from God, that inkling in our heart, that movement of the spirit that we barely recognize asking, us to do something and we come up with a million and one excuses as to why we're not going to do that? "I'm too busy." "I'm too tired." "I have enough on my plate already." "That person really annoys me." "I don't like to fly." "I might get coronavirus." "I'm terrified of other people." There are a million and one excuses that you and I use all the time, to tell God, why we're not doing that.

We finished up our evangelism class yesterday with the lay servants, and I was sharing with them that in the process of officially moving up here, I have to transfer doctors and stuff into this area, so that I don't drive forever to go, also I have a doctor, because you know what happens when you move a lot, you just don't go to the doctor. One of the things that happens when you tell people what you do for a living in my profession, is that everyone either starts to confess to you, or they make excuses, as to why they haven't been to church. So last Monday, I was at the dermatologist, and I like many people, suffer from cystic acne, in case you cared, but it's important for this story because she has to inject steroids into my face.

And so this woman asks me, we do the, "Hey, I'm Gabrielle, this is my problem. I need help fix me." And she goes, "Hey, I'm doctor so and so. What is it that you do for a living?" I said, "Well, I'm a pastor, I live in Pearl River, just moved to this area." She's like, "Okay." And as she's injecting steroids into my face, she's telling me why she doesn't go to church anymore. And I'm like, "Could we talk about this... " "You've got a needle in my [inaudible 00:05:54]." and she goes, "It's really hard, because I work a lot, and my schedules are really unpredictable, and I feel like I'm spiritual, but I just don't go to church." And then she then continues to confess a lot of stuff to me and I'm like, "You have a needle in my face lady." And I get it, I understand the busy-ness of life, and the places and the things in our lives, that cause us to step away from church for a time being.

But if we're called to take this journey seriously, a part of what we're also called to, is sacrifice, and priority, and what's important in our lives. Because there are a million and one excuses why we could be doing anything else this morning. It's 10:30, almost 11:00 on a Sunday morning. There's about a hundred other things you could be doing right now. Some of you probably still want to be sleeping, particularly our teenagers. Or our paramedics in the room. Some of you may feel that Sunday mornings is the most important time to spend with your family, because you work six days a week, and Sunday is the only time-off you have with your family. Perhaps you don't want to do things like teach Sunday school because, "I raise children all week, and I'm not going to do it on Sunday morning, that's somebody else's problem now." Or you say, "I'm not going to get involved with the choir because they meet Wednesday nights, for choir practice update, they don't anymore." So that's an excuse, you can cross-off your list.

Or we feel a call to God who says, "Go and do." "Go and talk." "Go and be a light." And we say, "Hmm, God, I got other stuff going on in my life right now. I have years of stuff I want to get done before I follow you. I've got other stuff that's more important than what you're asking me to do right now. When I get that done, I'll do whatever you want." I have a friend who's been going to Kentucky with us for many years. He runs a jib company. He does camera work, Super Bowl, the guy just walked across a volcano on a tight rope. Did you all see that? He filmed that. Terrifying. Please don't be walking across volcanoes. I'm just going to say that's probably not a great idea.

And he has a really, really, really great job, and he loves the work that he does. And I distinctly remember, I'm sitting with him at our first small group when we were in Kentucky, and he said to me, "This is the kind of work I want to do, all the time. This, showing up in people's lives, and rebuilding their homes, and helping them get to a different place in their life. To remind people that they are so deeply loved and that they matter. This is the work I want to do."

And I said, "So why don't you do it? If this is the call that you are feeling on your heart, why don't you do it now?" "I have kids in college, I have a job. I have to film the guy walking across the volcano." Although this was many years ago. "I have to do all of these things first. And then when I retire, and everything is done, and settled, and figured out, then I'll do what I know God is calling me to do. Then I'll do what's been gnawing and nudging at my heart, for years. When I've got my whole life figured out, all of the T's crossed, and the I's are dotted, then I'll do what you want me to do God."

Or as the prophet says to God, "I'm too young, no one's going to listen to me." And I'm sure that in that conversation that we don't have recorded, there's about 75 other excuses that Jeremiah comes up with. Because every time God calls someone, there's a very long list of reasons why you can't. Here's the flip side of it. Each one of us were formed and named and claimed for a reason, for a purpose. Each one of us has an innate call on our lives, that we are destined to do. Even when we make excuses, even when we put timelines, even when we say, "I'll get to it eventually." There is a reason, that you and I exist in this world. There is a purpose and a meaning and a place for each one of us, no matter how many times we mess it up, that God has called, and named, and claimed us. And if we trust that, if we trust that God loves us, and we trust that God has called us, and we trust that where we go, God will take care of us, why are we so afraid of doing it?

I remember when I was preparing for college, and I sat down with my mentor, he'd been my pastor for 15 years, and he said to me, "You better make sure you have a backup plan." Because, I've been called to ministry since I was four, I knew that this is what I wanted to do, And he looked at me and he said, "You make sure you have something to fall back on, in case this doesn't work out." So I tried that real hard for like a year and a half. I tried to double major in religion and psychology, because we didn't have a zookeeping degree at Smith.

It's kind of the same thing, but I tried so hard to have that backup plan. And to be prepared for all of the things that could happen if the church imploded, or if somebody decided that I wasn't actually called to ministry, or if I decided that I didn't really like the church anymore, I had a plan. I had the flip side of it. I only ever applied to one college. This is my confessional moment. I didn't know what I was going to do if I didn't get into Smith, but I also didn't think I was going to get into Smith. So in my brain, I came up with a backup plan. I would apply to Mount Holyoke, which was the other women's college in our five college consortium, and we could take classes in all of the other schools. So I would just go to Mount Holyoke, because I had all the credentials and I knew I was probably going to get into Mount Holyoke, and then I would just take all of my classes at Smith.

In my brain, it was a really good backup plan. I could figure it out or I could go to Amherst, and I could do the same thing. Take all of my classes at Smith, it would be fine. When you create that backup plan, you live in fear. You live in fear that the things that you know that God is calling you to do, aren't going to work out. So you better have a plan B. But the seconds that I let go off plan B, as soon as I realized that there was no way I was ever going to major in psychology, because I couldn't do math, still can't do math, when I let go of this idea that I had to somehow have a backup plan, what it opened for me was doors of being able to do exactly what God called me to do.

And every time I faced an obstacle in the energy and the momentum of doing what I knew God was calling me to do, there were none. I would come up to a mountain and I would say, there is no way I am going to make it over this mountain, and somehow God made a way where there was no way. And there were a lot of times in my life, in which there seemed like there was no way. There are still times in my life now where I go, "There is absolutely no way that any of this is going to work out." The entire time that we were waiting to hear where I was headed in June, all I kept getting from my colleagues was, "The Bishop has said, none of the interns are staying where they are." And I said, "There is absolutely no way I am staying." I started packing again.

I took the boxes out of the attic, and put them downstairs, and reluctantly started putting things in them, because I said, "There is absolutely no way that this is going to happen." And after four weeks of having absolutely no idea, where I was headed, or what I was doing in June, which for me, anxious type A personality likes the plan, I was like, "That's it. I'm done." I paralyzed with fear. And after the fourth week, and still no phone call, I was like, "We're done. I am not staying. There is absolutely no way in which this is going to happen." And then on a Tuesday morning, which is a weird time to get the phone call about an appointment, Gina Kim called. And God made a way, where there was absolutely no way.

The obstacles that pop up in our lives when we are doing what it is that God calls us to do, when we have the faith, that no matter what happens, that God will take care of us, God makes a way where there is seemingly no way. Paul abused, and killed, and murdered Christians for years. There was absolutely no way that that man was going to become an apostle. There's absolutely no way that Saul, this most hated man by the Christians, was ever going to become someone vitally important, and now as Paul, he is the name that we know sometimes better than Jesus. There was absolutely no way that he was going to be able to do what it was that God called him to do, and God made a way where there was no way.

Do you ever get to a point in your life where nothing is going right, and every obstacle that you hit is not moving, and you feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall? You all ever get there? Maybe it's because it's not what you are supposed to be doing. Because what I have found with God, is that when you are living in the way that God calls you to go, even when it feels like there is no way, a way is made. And there were times in my life, in which I was banging my head against a wall begging for signs that this is what I was supposed to be doing, nothing changed.

And in fact, how things would end in those obstacles that I was trying so hard to make happen, for often they're painful, and scary, and decimated my life. I've told you all about the time that I was almost on academic probation, yet that's because I was trying so hard, to make a way, where there was never going to be a way. I was trying to make away, in a wasteland where there would never be a way. Where God was trying to make a way, where I was like, "I can't do that. Can't put all of my eggs in this one basket, because what if it fails?" And God turned around and said to me, "What if it doesn't?" "What if it doesn't fail?"

What if we really trusted the God who formed us before our mothers even knew our names, who planned for us, who loved us, even when we turned to stray, what if we trusted him? And what if we didn't fail? What if ways were made in wastelands, not by our doing, but by God's doing? What if the trials and the tribulations made way to something beautiful? What if God took all of the stuff, and used it to change other people's lives? What if we couldn't fail? Saul, who becomes Paul was a zealot. He was on fire, gung-ho, we would look at him today and go, "You need to calm down a little bit." Like, "Just take a deep breath dude and breathe, because you're scaring us." God doesn't make Saul, Paul lose that zealousness, lose that overboard ness, lose that stuff that made Saul who he was. He just redirected it.

As Paul follows God, he retains all of the stuff that makes him who he is, God just refocuses it, because one guy, who was willing to follow God wherever God called, who finally let go of his excuses, because the part we forget, is it took Paul 10 years from his conversion moment, to his first missionary trip. When Paul finally let go of all of the excuses that he had, he changed the entire world. And it is because of people like Paul, that you and I, get to sit here today.

It is because of people who are willing to say, "I don't need to have a backup plan, and I will trust God wherever he leads me. And I will trust that God will give me the words to say, and the things to do because I am willfully unqualified. Willfully. I want you to imagine all of this, six years ago. I was 21, I had no idea what I was doing, how I was going to exist, except I got a phone call from my district superintendent at the time who said, "You're going to pastor a church." And I hadn't even graduated college yet. And I went, "Me, Steve, me? I don't think you want me."

As I walked into the SPRC meeting, that first appointment and all of the eyes went, [inaudible 00:22:05]. And somebody said, "Steve, is that your daughter?" "No. Why is it?" Who was I, who am I now, to stand before you and say anything, except for the fact that I believe, that it is God's words on my lips and in my heart. I stand here before you, not because of things I have done, because when it is my choice, I run away. I make plan B. I prayed to become a zookeeper, a real one with tigers that I can pet. It's all I wanted. I beg to be anything except for what it is that God calls me to do, because I am human.

I have made every excuse in the book, time and time and time again, when God has called me. And I have said, "But who am I? I am willfully unequipped, to do the work that you have called me to do." I went through three years of seminary, and at the end of seminary I went, "I am even more unequipped today than I was when I started." Seminary does nothing but make you feel bad about yourself, and realize that you know absolutely nothing. But it is God's words. It is God's anointing, it is God's touch, it is God's movement, that I have had to learn to trust. That if God has called me to do it, then He will equip me with what I need. God does not call the people who have it all figured out. God does not call the people who are well-equipped. God does not call the people, who have their lives together.

God reaches in, into the darkest, lowliest, most marginalized places, the people who are not equipped at all, the people you would least like or expect to be doing what God calls us to do and God says, "You, you're coming with me. Not because you have your life figured out, not because you're making the best choices, not because of anything you do, but because long before you were even a thought, I knew you, and I formed you, and I breathed life into you. So you are going to come with me. And all of the excuses, I have answers for them, and all the places where you will tell me that there's no way that's happening God, I will make a way. Follow me, and you will go to places you never thought possible. And you will become a person, you never believed you could be. And you will do it, not because of how wonderful or special or perfect you are, but because of how much I love you."

And how beautiful, and wonderful, and special God thinks you are. There is a beauty in asking the question, "What can I do if I believed I couldn't fail? What would I do if I trusted that God was with me?" If I gave up my excuses, and went where God called me, I could transform the world today, and every day. Amen.


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